Solitary Confinement

Its been a little less than 4 months since this blog saw any updates. well such is life, this is what the internet does to you. with all the messengers, social networking, chats, emails, there doesnt seem to be anytime for blogging! just too much happening.

Considering i work in the digital media department and take care of interactive initiatives, its a little too much of being ‘interactive’ with the world. but imagine this, suddenly you are stripped of all the internet access and are left out of the circle of communication. for someone who surfs the internet for 12 hours a days and the remaining time is spent on being on the phone either chatting (again), or on email etc, its a little tough!

Well it all started some 10 days back, where my IT department decided to just severe all the popularly visited sites and put them behind a firewall! yes! so that means there isnt access any access to facebook, gmail, gtalk, google reader, msn, youtube, yahoo, messenger and they have even gone ahead and blocked words like chat, society & lifestyle, social networking.

Its now a life of solitary confinement, something that is like the worst nightmare coming true. its my job to be on the web, i get my daily bread doing what i do online. someone said that the world is convergening thanks to the technology. i say, we are moving back to the stone ages!

I’m Back!

Been quite a while that something got posted to the blog. Its been over a month! No nothing has changed, i am still the same, except i am happier, content, sorted, thinking right and enjoying life, yeah maybe its a change from what i have been writing in the past.

No random incidents have happened, so there is no room for random ramblings. Things have been only on an incline on the personal front. Professionally? Well i am not sure, its a little hard to say.

There are these road blocks that one stumbles upon every now and then, walking the walk and talking the talk, losing the focus, gaining the brain dead. Sometimes u feel why are u doing this, is it going to be this way for the rest of your life, is it going to be the same forever. Will u ever move up the ladder, and if u do, where will you be?

Smiling has become a part of life, mutual understanding is the bliss that i live in. I dont have much to complain about, things and life have been on a general upswing.

Today, i have everything that i never did. What i hold dear is something that i have dreamt of.

Amen!

Tag

The tag Chaits passed on.

Last movie seen in a movie hall: Shaurya

What book are you reading:My own Book! (Slices From The Pie Called Life)

Favourite board game(s):Life, Cluedo

Favourite magazine:Any Auto Mag or a Tech Mag (T3 is cool)

Favourite smells:Smell of the first Rain on mud!

Favourite sound:My phone beeping and i know who is calling

Worst feeling in the world: Irritation

Whats the first thing you think of when you wakeup:I’m Late

Favourite fast food place:Ginger Marie, Myst, Firangi Pani,

Future childs name: …

Finish the statement “If I had a lot of money I’d …” :Travel, Travel, Travel

Do you drive fast:Sometimes, mumbai doesnt allow that actually

Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: Never

Storms-Cool or scary?: 100% cool

Do you eat the stems on the broccoli: Yup ..

If you could dye your hair any color, what would your choice be: Red

Name all the diffrent cities/towms you’ve lived in: Jindra, Deolali, Delhi, Tezpur, Jalandh, Mumbai, Guwahati

Favourite sports to watch: “Cricket, NBA, F1, Moto GP

One nice thing about the person who send this to you: Rockstar!

Whats under your bed: I sleep on the floor!

Would you like to be born as yourself again: Totally !!

Morning person or night owl? : Both, neither and either .. depending on nothing.. just random disturbed sleep cycle.

Over easy or sunny side up?:Sunny Side Up!

Favourite place to relax: Jhoola at my place

Favourite pie: Apple

Favourite Icecream flavour: Rum Raisin in chocolate.

Of all the people you tagged this to, who’ll respond first? : No clue !!

Moved

Some recent posts have been moved to a new location. There were a little to personal for the generic one. This new location is accessible by invitation only. If u wanna take a peek let me your email id, i'll give u access

Tagged!

This has been pending for a bit now. so i thought what better than put this up

Ten Things You Wish You Could Say to People (but can’t/don’t)

1. I am not up for it
2. NO
3. I am scared
4. I Love You
5. I don’t care what you think about me
6. I Like You
7. I wanna run away from here
8. I wanna quit my job and go to the himalayas
9. you are the stupidest person i know
10. leave me alone

Nine Unknown Things about Yourself

1. I am emotional
2. I like pretty feet
3. am quite random when i want to
4. i hate losing friends
5. i have a problem with expressing myself
6. i hate to wake up in the morning
7. i love texting, hate talking
8. I have a thing for nose rings
9. i get uncomfortable when i am in a crowd

Eight Ways to Win Your Heart

1. Expressive eyes
2. Intelligence
3. long drives
4. just you and me
5. be with me
6. hold my hand
7. giving little attention is enough
8. weekend getaways – just u and me!

Seven Things That Cross Your Mind A Lot

1. where am i heading?
2. what does the future have in store for me?
3. Snuggles
4. How Big will i make it in life?
5. who will be the soul mate?
6. when will this mess end?
7. When will i be able to get all i want?

Six Things You Regret

1. Wish i was more expressive
2. I wish letting go was easier
3. I wish i hadn’t got into that relationship
4. I wish i could say NO easily
5. I wish i had been a bit more confident
6. I wish i was more out going

Five Turn-Off’s

1. Attitude
2. Non responsive people
3. Ugly feet
4. Bad drivers
5. Know it all kinda people

Four Turn-On’s

1. Pretty Feet
2. Nose rings
3. Expressive eyes
4. ‘Good to hold’ hands

Three Things You Want To Do Before You Die

1. Watch a F1 Race – live
2. Travel to at least 50 places across the world
3. Get a Harley Davidson

Two Smileys that Describe You

1. `:-) [one eyebrow raised]
   
2. :-S [confused]

One Confession

1. I cannot tell someone how much i love them, or how exactly i feel about them, i have ended up liking the wrong people in the past.

Love & Relationships

The Oxford University Press’ compact dictionary defines “Love” as (noun) 1 an intense feeling of deep affection. 2. A deep romantic attachment to someone. 3 a great interest and pleasure in something. 4. A person or thing that one loves.

It also defines “Relationship” is (noun) 1 the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected. 2 the way in which two or more people or groups regard and behave towards each other. 3. An emotional association between two people.

We clubbed together is becomes “Love Relationship”, though the Oxford Dictionary doesn’t have this as an entry, I am trying to decipher the meaning, the way I see/understand it. To begin with, its quite complicated. Its not very definable by a lesser mortal like me, but I shall still give it a shot.

I start with the other words that come to my mind when I think of love. Those words are: trust, respect, attachment, selfless, life, understanding, respect, association, happiness, joy, cherish, ecstasy, passion, serene, warmth. These are the first set of words that I think of when I think of love. But, in this world of people being slightly selfish, how true do these words hold? Lets be honest, its not an utopian world out there and none of us are saints, so how true is the definition of love and relationship?

Lets try the same for the words I associate with relationship: bond, love, happiness, calm, peace, warmth, joy, understanding, happiness, partnership, association, attachment. Then again how many of us actually feel this way about relationships? I mean when I hear about relationships I have heard about fights, incompatibility, lack of space, lack of understanding, pain.

Another try as word associations, let me try and pick out the common attributes to words I associate with love and relationship. I come up with the following: attachment, warmth, happiness, joy, and understanding. These 5 words pretty much define a relationship for me so to say. Yes I need the warmth, I want to be attached to someone, I want to feel the happiness, I want to spend my life in joy and I want my partner to understand me.

But then I cannot be selfish here and just hope to get it all just sitting down, it has to be mutual. It has to be given back the same way it would come to me. Sometimes its not the case. Sometimes we just get into something and realize midway that its not working for us. Its that moment that redefines our life, insecurity creeps in and we try and cling on to it, supported by the small little good memories and things that we experienced for the first time, its always a case that if this ends, I end. If this falls short, then I will not have anyone’s hand to hold, I will be left standing out cold and torn.

Its general human tendency, it’s a characteristic trait that is imbibed into us since we are kids and we are taught to be loving, affectionate, respect the binds and attachment that we share with family and friends. That’s the seed of where it all starts, that’s where it all originates from. We all are suckers for emotions, drama, happiness, love, feeling to love, want to be loved. But then life always has a lesson or two in store for us every time. We win some. We lose some. We run the race, we keep the pace, we have the patience, we nurture the steam to carry on.

Free Hugs Campaign!

The Free Hugs Campaign is a phenomenon which involves individuals who offer hugs to strangers in public settings. It began in June, 2004,[1] and was widely publicized in 2006 by a music video on YouTube that was filmed and produced by the australian band Sick Puppies. The campaign is an example of a random act of kindness, a selfless act performed by a person for the sole reason of making others feel better.

If you want to know more you can read about it on

The Wikipedia Page

Official Free Hugs Campaign Website

If u really really need a HUG! i am always there!

Hurt Granted

Well its something that may have happened to all of us, more often than not we just don’t see it coming. We are blinded by either love, faith, friendship or hatred. Sometimes we are with blinkers on and just don’t pay heed to the surroundings and circumstances building around us, we are ignorant to the signs. Ignorant to facts and on a single track.

More often than not we are hurt by people who are close to us, people whom you love unconditionally and expect nothing but gestures. Yeah i know, you must be wondering how can i talk about ‘unconditional’ and ‘expectations’ in the same breath. Well i guess expecting gestures is a bit different than expectations. Its intangible, its not seen, cannot be held, cannot be quantified.

Sometimes its something that can jolt you back to reality and bring you to your senses and tell you who you really are and what you might mean to some people, especially to those who mean a lot to you. Its just that you feel cheated, you feel disgusted, you are angry, you don’t know how to actually react. Its not jealousy that does this to you coz unconditional love doesn’t see any barriers of hatred, jealousy, unpleasantness, dislike. Its just so beautiful that you become unaware of what it might be leading to. Sometimes its better not to express things and just be quiet about everything you feel.

A lot about us often goes misinterpreted, we are taken for granted, the pain we suffer increases by a degree or two, in the does it all feels as if it just wasn’t worth it and all the efforts that you put in, time, money, initiative, were all were not even the 2 pence it could have been. U think like someone who has been trampled upon, used, be led on!

But then thanks to some ‘angels’, sanity prevails and you come back to life and realize that its time to move on and maybe it was your fault in expecting even that little gesture. Its not the investment to time that has gone waste coz someone once said that if you give someone your time you have given them the most precious thing, its never going to come back. And the best thing about expecting the future is that it comes only one day at time. So you exactly know how much we are capable of handling, it too is within limits of control.

A wise man one said, ‘don’t expect! Expectations make you fall flat on your face’ and someone also said, ‘its not the big things that matter and make an impression, its the small gestures that matter the most.’

i’m someone who bases my decisions and judgements about people on the way they behave with me. I’ll go out of the way to tickle their funny bone in an effort to leave my foot prints. But for me its a thread, the fine silk thread. Its there, difficult to see but it exists, and will continue to exist for eternity, but its delicate and can be broken at some point in time. It can be repaired too but the knot too will remain for eternity.

Peace brother!
Thanks Bud & Mitesh!
You guys are the best, and true for life.
Amen!

Freedom, Bravery, Letting Go – Bravo!

Before this year started, i has written a post and saved it in the drafts coz i wasn’t used to writing posts like that, as in something that overtly positive and about turning about a new leaf. we i thought about a lot of things considerably and then decided to publish it.

i wished for a couple of things for me and a few friends. and its indeed turning out to a pretty eventful year in the best sense. a lot of it is working in the favour of almost everyone. Some people werent mentioned on the wish list coz it wasnt what it is now, there are some new found friendships and associations that have emerged and i am really really thankful for their existance, not simply because you have to survive, but its DEEPER than that, thats the way i see it, its a real friendship that will go on till eternity.

This post is a dedication to a deep conversation and a revelation that i came across yesterday and in more than one ways i was stumped to know what lies beneath that smile, what lies beneath that every enthusiastic attitude, what lies beneath that bubbly nature. it initially came as a surprise but it soon turned to respect and admiration towards the entire thing and especially her.

Sometimes you think of giving it up, but u just dont think of the reason why you held up so long. Do or die is an old thinking, its more about do before you die! The feeling of having given it is satisfing. Atleast u gave it what u had, and walked the longest yard. You have nothing to lose, nothing to be afraid of. It takes a lot of strength and courage to tread on the path of freedom and letting go of things ever so completely.

i truly respect 2 women who have fought it out, and i am in awe. hats off ladies. A woman has strengths that amaze men, she can handle trouble and carry burdens. she holds happiness, love, and opinions, she smiles when she feels like screaming, she sings when she feels like crying, cries when she is happy and laughs when she is afraid. her love is unconditional!

But she sometimes forgets what she is worth. its a dedication to all the beautiful women i know. respect!

Push The Limits

Its always a divide for people to know the difference between passion and something that they like doing, more like a hobby. there is a close friend of mine who started something as a hobby and now has decided to turn it into a career.

the problem remains that the hobby has turned into a career but the passion is missing. the career is still taken as a hobby, the future is unclear. the focus is missing. the drive to get to the end is lacking.

there is only ‘this much’ that you can push people to do, and there is a line that we all tread on when it comes to even friendship. too much of anything is bad. so i guess i can talk about it and think about it only to a limit, after that i might reach a spot where i am the blind spot or my concern and ramblings fall on a dead ear or that i am just someone who constantly nags at one specific topic and i have nothing more to discuss.

things arent all that rosy, age isnt exactly on his side. time is flying as usual. near and dear ones are working up a sweat thinking about his future. he has gone into depression a couple of times regarding his own future and yet has not done anything about it.

i guess i have to push him a little more and maybe for the last time. i am sincerely hope that it works, i have the support of all his friends and especially 2 who excel at the line of work that he is currently in. yet, there is no sense of urgency and complete lack of emotion towards it.

god bless him! i am there to help him. we are there to help him. if only he listened and pushed the limits.

may the force be with him, god speed!